on summer

bare shoulders.
sticky thighs.
purple sunsets.
the smell of sunscreen.
hot dogs.
BBQ.
sunshine and the hot hot heat.
tank tops.
flip flops.
pony tails.
oceans, lakes, and rivers.
tunes.

summer.

after all the trials, the stresses, the heartaches and heartbreaks, and roller-coaster rides the school year has brought, summer comes poking through the warm soil like a new budding flower. it smiles and says, "where have you been all year?" and we embrace it like a long lost friend. for me, this summer will be different. i must be getting older. oh gosh. life is happening. it's flowing along right before my eyes, like the trees and bushes on the side of the road as they're passed by. and as much as i want to sometimes, i can't slow it down. it keeps on flowing. and it keeps on amazing me. there's still so much life to live...so much LIFE. and i just want to leap for joy, run to the top of a mountain and feel rain fall on my face, the drops weaving a path on my skin, soaking me to my inner core. i want to FEEL. LIFE. wow. summer makes me feel so alive!

i'm stepping out. i'm finding out what it's like to live life on my own. i'm breaking the ties that hold me home and bind me to my parents' lives.

i'm gonna miss the texas summer. but i'm excited to find out what a san diego summer is like. i'm excited to be with my friends when we don't have to worry about homework, or exams, or other responsibilities. i'm excited to spend my days with children and horses. i'm excited to spend each day looking forward to the next. i'm excited to live in an apartment near the beach, with a dishwasher.

i can't stop listening to the song "pagan angel and a borrowed car" by iron & wine. it makes me feel - feel the wind on my face and in my hair as i'm driving down a long, straight road in the middle of nowhere, the streets lined with green, grassy fields and the sun shining radiantly above, with mountains in the distance. and there's a glassy lake far off to my right, lined with trees. there are no other cars on the road, just me. and i'm just driving...to no place in particular. and it doesn't matter if i get there or not. it's the journey and the way it makes me feel. that's where i'm at right now. i'm in that car, driving down that long road. i'm on the journey and i'm just enjoying the scenery.