on races and gifts

school is rapidly coming to and end. tomorrow is my last day of classes as a junior. then comes senior year. SENIOR year. what in the heck do i do after that? i realize that i could make all the plans in the world and then something could happen and i end up doing something totally different. that's just how life works. we make plans and God laughs, right? i feel like God has laughed at me many times. "oh, you think you're gonna be a bio major and go to med school?" nope. "you don't wanna be a leader?" too bad. "you think you're never going to find someone special?" wrong-o. the Lord is tricky. but not tricky in the sense that He deceives you and leads to down the wrong path. nah, He's tricky in the sense that He gives you things in life you'd never expect, blessings that you don't deserve. i think God hears our plans for ourselves and says, "you really have no idea."

i used to be fearful of that. of not knowing the future. but now all it does is bring me incredible hope and excitement. it's like God placed little gifts wrapped up with silver bows along my path, but there are all these obstacles that are in the way of reaching them. slowly i've learned to love the challenge of facing these obstacles. i've learned that the challenges are so worth the amazing gift that lies in wait. gifts that i don't deserve. gifts that He freely gives me. and all the while He's standing right there in front of me on my path, beckoning me on. i have this image of my dad that i like to keep with me. it comes up often when i'm running (literally) and i really just want to stop. once, when i was younger, i ran a 5K in my hometown. as i rounded the corner for the homestretch, my dad was there giving me encouragement and spurring me on towards the finish line. i can still see him there today, waving his fists and shouting thsoe encouraging words. i will always remember that. because i think that's what Jesus does. he stands ahead of us, calling us towards the finish line. and at that finish line is the biggest prize of all: the crown. paul often uses the image of a race in his letters. i love that image. it speaks to me. it seems real to me.

i don't feel like my race is even half-way over. no, it's just beginning. there are still so many more obstacles for me to face, so many more challenges...but so many more gifts as well. so that's what i live for: the gifts of life. the people, the places....they're all gifts. it may be difficult to see the silver bow around them at first, but as you slowly unwrap it, you discover the beauty that lies inside.