on light and dark

something's wrong with the sun. i mean, i haven't seen it today. just all this ugly, gloomy gray stuff. but that's okay, because it makes me feel better about staying in to write a paper. i had to write a 4-5 page paper on whether hiv/aids is a problem of personal or social responsibility. i came to the conclusion that is it actually both. because we're relational beings. and we have a duty to act in a way that would better the community. so that got me thinking about relations...and justice and what i'm doing to help the world. because most of the time i don't think that i'm the person who can "do justice." i'm just little ol' me, in my usd bubble, surrounded by so many blessings. what am i doing to change the world? i don't know. that's someone else's job. no?

i'm not a very creative person - i can't paint, or draw, or take amazing pictures. i can't sing or play an instrument. most of the time my mind stays in a little box. the "what's comfortable for courtney" box. to think outside that box is kinda scary. because i like to make plans. i'm future oriented. but i made a new year's resolution this year to be fearless. to take risks. to step outside that box. to go out in the world with jesus by my side and DO SOMETHING. so i'm trying to figure out how my passion can be transformed into service. this world is needy. this world is broken. this world is desperate for some fresh air. this world needs some jesus.

so what do i do? that's the ultimate question. what does it look like for me to be His hands and feet here in this world? 'cause there's so much suffering. there's HIV/AIDS, there's poverty, there's homelessness, there's political oppression, there's illiteracy, and there's lots of hate. right now i feel like the whole world is frowning and i want it to smile. there's a lot of darkness and there needs to be light. we need His light.