on more changes

it's starting to become fall. which is pretty much my favorite season of the year. and this time i will not be in san diego, where "fall" involves the temperature MAYBE dropping a few degrees and less and less people hanging out on the beach. nope, this year i will be in real fall territory. there will be changing of leaves (albeit probably for only like two weeks), lots of playing of (good) football, and a considerable change of temperature requiring the wearing of long sleeves, sweaters, and closed-toed shoes (which never really happens in san diego). i will be in texas. like i wanted to be. and it kinda feels like life before college, except i have less friends here, i don't go to school, my mom and dad don't pay for everything, and i have to have a real job soon. thinking about starting a LIFE, a real life, is a little bit scary and a lot bit exciting. right now, though, i feel like i'm in an in-between stage. i'm sort of still dependent. i don't really have an income yet. i don't have my own place to live. i don't have a dog. i don't have bills with my name on them. it's kinda like i'm in the bull pen, you know, getting ready to step up to home plate and see if i can knock whatever life throws at me out of the part. i'm in the bull pen. preparing. thinking. learning. mustering courage and warming myself up for the hard parts. (baseball reference? okay. i don't even like/watch baseball.)

lots of exciting things are happening to my friends, too. some are staying and some are going, but they're all doing something really amazing. i can't believe what wonderful friends i have, all of whom are passionate about something and are reaching out to pursue that passion, whatever it looks like. i know our relationships will change. not that they will get worse, but they will be different. from a few minutes away to a thousand miles apart, the change in distance is hard. but it puts me at peace to know that we are all pursuing our dreams and doing hard stuff and succeeding. and i will always love them the most. because they were the ones that were there in the most amazing four years of my life thus far. they were there through the anxieties, the hard questions, the uncertanties, the good and bad relationships, the joyful triumphs. as cheesy as it may sound, i really discovered myself over the past four years and i have to thank my friends for holding my hand through that journey. who knows if i'll ever experience that kind of friendship again.

but i'm moving on. i'm starting somewhere new where i don't know anyone. just like freshman year in college. but because i have had that experience, i feel even more confident that i will be successful in my new place. i may not like it. it may be the hardest thing i've ever done. but i am prepared for that because of the last four years. because of the classes i took. because of the professors that taught me. because of the people that surrounded me. because of the place that i lived. because of the community i was a part of.